‘I am completely dead now’: Pilot, 72, who died in a crash pens his own obituary detailing his close brushes with death

A 72-year-old man who died in a small plane crash had the foresight to write up his own obituary before his death, and he packed it full of charm and stories of his close calls in life.

"I am completely dead now," Gary Wolfelt wrote in his obituary. "I am surprised that it took this long to happen."

On May 5, Wolfelt left Lafayette, Indiana, in a small plane that he spent 17 years building. The plane never made it back, and Wolfelt did not survive a crash in Ohio. When his obituary was published, readers were likely surprised to see that it was penned by Wolfellt himself.

“I had several close calls throughout my lifetime. I guess that I was just lucky that something didn’t get me long before now,” he wrote.

According to Wolfelt, he'd had a "long series of events and mishaps" that "should have killed me long ago."

Wolfelt knew his audience would want some examples, and he delivered. In one story, he recounted taking a fly ball to his skull during a Little League game. Sadly, his bodily sacrifice for the game did not translate into luck for his team, which he said lost 20-0.

In another tale, Wolfelt describes an unfortunate encounter with his sister’s horse. The animal kicked him in his gut noting that “any lower and I’d be singing soprano for the rest of my life.”

Gravity almost got Wolfelt twice before his final plane right. In one instance a brick chimney collapsed and nearly crushed him. In another he took a tumble down the stairs, and a metal safe came tumbling down after him.

Despite the parade of mishaps, Wolfelt remained positive and gave thanks for the important things in life.

"Thank goodness for pain killing drugs," Wolfelt wrote.

Wolfelt isn't all jokes though. Buried beneath the humor, Wolfelt spends some time in his obituary pondering the decisions he made in life. For example, Wolfelt never had children, but he did love dogs.

“Generally a dog will only bite you when you have it coming. This is not the case with many people," he noted.

At one point, the 72-year-old apologized for past wrongs, noting that he "was far from a perfect human," and allowed that he did try to "learn from my mistakes and shortcomings as I grew older."

He also shared his pride at another decision he made — remaining faithful to his wife Esther for the entirety of their 40-year marriage.

"I stayed lovingly married to the same woman for a long time," he wrote. "Hopefully if there is a life after death, I will end up with Esther and all of our dogs in a sunny field of tall grass with music playing all around me."